hooray my page is finally done !
got some ramune from a smoke shop today. it was nautro themed. now i have sauske and nauruto ramune bottles. theyre besties. i havent seen nautro lol

ughhh my birthday is tomorrow. anothe year old. yippee.
i genuinely never thought id live past sixteen but here we are three years later

fuckk i need to redo my home page and finish my loveblog and make a layouts page >_< im a busy bee!! (< stressed)

my grandma was cleaning her basement the other day and she threw away the most beautiful vintage black and white/color tv sets like one of the big chunky ones. she said it was the first tv she ever bought. and now its sitting in the dump. i cant stop thinking about it

oh boy long update. in chronological order: my bee eff and i went to the nature reserve recently :3 i bought some minnows that the ichthyology club was selling for valentines day. you could buy a fish and name it after a lover and they would live in the tank at the welcome center so i bought two fish and named them bren and coda <>< we went to go see them in the tank and i bought a little butterfly keychain for my bag :3 second: we also went hiking in the forest and found a cool little ditch :33 we laid down in it for like 30 minutes. third: i had an hrt consult with a doctor in the student health service she was really nice. i can start T as soon as my next visit and the prices are hella cheap. fourth: midterms have been kicking my ass. on tuesday i have a final for my java class ON PAPER. it was hell. i got an 88. then i had a psych final which i totally bombed. and now i have to do another final for my html class. on top of that i had to do a coding assessment for a job offer and FUCK THAT. WHAT THE HELL IS SQL. fifth? i had a job interview for a campus job today too. i think it went well the person was really nice. i hope i get the job its a graphic design position and it sounds really fun. ok. i think im done ...... 🐶

oh boy its time for another (drumroll please) long update !! yayy first one with my new layout !! i started a new job recently its kind of mehhhh. on one hand its a really good job and it pays well and the people there are really nice and its very good expirience. on the other hand .. i am Severly Sleepy (chronic fatigue) and having to wake up so early and force myself to work for so long only makes me worse. and i have no time in the day i have 8 hours for work, 8 for sleep, 1 for commuting, 1 for eating, 1 for getting ready, 2 for naps which only leaves me 2 hours in a day to do whatever and that isnt enough to do ANYTHING. the only reason im getting the time to write this currently is because its a rare day for me where i have 2 monsters and skip my nap. AND I MISS MY BOYFRIEND. so much. this is not living.

and i saw a baby deer yesterday he had little spots

YAY another update this month ^w^ my friend and i went to our local pride today and it was so fun there was a drag competition and our mayor was one of the judges he was super chill and we got a picture with him after LOL. we also bought matching dog collars :3 after we went 2 smoke in the forest then hung out in another park on the lake and there were a ton of cute little baby ducks ^w^ overall good day just trying not to think about how i have work on monday. I HATE OO DATABASEPROGRAMMING!!!

some updates: i had to take medical leave from my job :p i have to go back home for a doctors appointment and *hopefully* they can find something wrong with me and i can get a prescription. otherwise its either a sleep disorder and ill have to take a sleep study. or its psychosomatic and ill have to go see a therapist again :p

in other news ive been feeling less depressed lately :3 here are some of my favorite things recently

aluhhsim i like building 90s themed things in the sims 4 and this is exactly the stuff i like :3

awingedllama my favorite sims 4 cc creator :3 more 90s themed stuff hehe

my vintage light i would not let this be my puffin sweater. i literally cannot find it for sale online anywhere either

my essential oil diffuser

cleaning :3

black country, new road i have a problem

first post back in college! hooray!! ive been meaning to write a blog post for some time but i just never got around to it >_ < not much has changed from last year. i love my roommate i love my friends i love my room i love my classes (most of them)

OH MY GOD. i wrote a paper for one of my media studies classes and got a C on it. the teachers notes on it were EXACTLY WHAT I SAID (but less articulate) AND SHE USED THE SAME DAMN EXACT QUOTATIONS AS I DID?? anyways. i LOVE my other media studies class so much. i love being able to talk about film and its components and how much i love technicolor AND HAVE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ME!! AND I LOVE MY TEACHER shes so silly!! she knows about the view askewniverse too :33 the building that class is in is so cool too. its one of the older buildings on campus and its all for media studies. our college radio station is in that building and i just think its so cool. on every floor theres displays for like merchandice from media and they have a whole display on just the x-files its SO COOL!! OMG THEY ALSO HAVE A WHOLE KODAK COLLECTION. I LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH. it awes my tism

also (drumroll please) I GOT COVID!! FOR THE FIRST TIME!! FIVE YEARS LATE.... fml

mentally ill rambling below



blehh i feel like such shit i feel so fucking lonely like theres some secret conspiracy behind my back and all of my friends secretly hate me its so difficult interacting with anyone because i just feel like they have a metaphorical knife held behind their back the whole time. i feel like theyre just slowly trying to distance themselves from me but cant get rid of me.

anyways been listening to this on repeat